Next week marks Week 6 of spinal decompression therapy. The last month+ has been riddled with ups and downs; triumphs and challenges.
The bad news first: I have not been instantly healed. I still have pain. I still have numbness. I am still weak.
The great news: it's getting better. WAY better.
I was longing and hoping and dreaming for spinal decompression therapy to be the "miracle cure". It is more like a "miracle helper-outter." And I've come to terms with that. And am grateful for it.
After spending the better part of a year idle, gaining weight and gaining pessimism, I put a lot of hope into spinal decompression. Unfairly, I think. After all, all of the reading and research I've done about disc herniations has told me time and time again that the back WILL heal, it just takes the dreaded "T word" that I am tired of hearing: "time". And with "time" comes the other dreaded word "patience". Of which, I openly admit, I've been short of through this whole process.
But back to positivity: I am making progress. In the last 5 weeks I have gone from having 24-hour numbness, pain, and burning sensations in my left leg (caused by the disc pressing on the nerve that runs down my left leg) to having that same numbness, pain, and burning sensation for maybe an hour to three hours a day. Now, those 1-3 hours still stink, are still painful, are still uncomfortable, but this progress is H-U-G-E.
To me, it means that I can sleep through the night solidly. I haven't woken up in pain in 5 weeks. That, to me, is bliss. It means that I can sit and do my work at the office for a full day, instead of getting up every fifteen minutes trying to find a comfortable position to dine in. It means that I can eat dinner at the table without my legs going numb in the seat. It means I can do the crossword puzzle at the coffee table instead of lying on my back, knees up, and constantly juggling the pen to make it work upside down. It means I can walk Harley, albeit slowly, for a few blocks and soak up some fresh air. It means I can pedal my bike slowly beside M as he runs and feel the wind in my air.
Basically, it means that I am starting to feel alive again.
I still have 6-12 months of rehab ahead of me.
I still have two herniated discs that are slowly working their way back into place.
I still have back pain.
I still can't walk to work ... but I've made it half way, and that was a victory.
I still can't run, which breaks my heart on every sunny morning as I try to squeeze into old pants that are two sizes too small now. My inability to run and sweat has been and remains the most difficult part of this journey. I cry about it alot. I stare out the window and think about it alot. I feel sorry for myself alot. But I also know, deep down, that the tables will turn, and if I have that darn "patience", this time next year I will be running strong.
As I get stronger and my back heals, I've slowly integrated rehab exercises into my routine.
I have a 30-minute stretching routine that I do every morning and evening. And as time passes, it gets easier and less painful. Another sign of progress.
Last week. the doctor started me on ab and back strengthening exercises, to help me stabilize my spine.
M and I go out to the courtyard, lay down the yoga mat, and I do these while he does bicep curls and the like.
again, it's a small piece of paradise just to feel my body move. These small movements are difficult and sometimes strenuous, but glorious all the same. I have been idle so long. It feels so nice to move.
My treatments are going to continue past the original 20 because my back hasn't healed and I've been a bit of a tough case. But my doctor is optimistic: "You will run again," he said with hope and conviction in his eyes.
And I know I will.
So in the meantime, I am trying to get out and enjoy the sunshine. Vancouver in the summer is a slice of heaven. It is the reason I moved here. And while I won't be summiting mountains and racing through forests like usual this summer, I will be out and about, strolling in my favourite parks, soaking up what I love about this place as much as possible, and remembering that I am very lucky to be here, be alive, and be healthy.
And that when my back heals, I am going to tear up those mountains with a fire in my belly and a smile on my face.
Just you wait and see!
